Where did you get a picture of my penis
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize