At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
