3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
