the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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