you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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