She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
