Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize