i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
