I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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