i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
