a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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