Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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