yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
