I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize