did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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