**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
