i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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