I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
