I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
