just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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