I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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