did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
