i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
