so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
