I wish my penis had an off switch
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
