you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
