I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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