im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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