Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
