Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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