She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
