Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
