Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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