this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
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I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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