Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
