You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize