I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
