I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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