I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
