just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
