My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I puked a lego.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
