Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
