If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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