Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
