none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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