He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
