oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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