Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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