I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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