i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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