I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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