a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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