so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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