But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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