Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
