Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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