just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm too high and old for this...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
