where am i from again
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
