I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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