4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
